Good day. Very good day. But goodness I am tired. But, again, it’s just a normal fatigue, one grounded in a busy day, not an exhaustion that has its origins in depression or frustration.

I am at the onset of winter. Yes, technically that’s about two weeks away (depending on when you think is the official start of winter). But last February, I realized just how badly I suffer from Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder. I felt like I just lived from day to day in a sense of darkness. Like I was living under suffocating pillows.

I couldn’t live like that, and I am determined to do my best not to have a similar winter this year. Or ever again if possible. But for right now, this winter is a good focal point.

So, right now, I’m working on building up new habits. Walking my Figgis-dog in the morning to catch the sunrise and spend time in the morning sunlight. In the afternoon, dedicating at least thirty minutes to gardening. Even when it’s really cold, I really need to be outside. And maybe I won’t be digging up weeds or moving around dirt. Maybe I’ll be…who knows. Picking up leaves one at a time?

In the end, I will not be defeated by the darkness. I will push forward. If needed, I’ll buy a friggin’ electric blanket and sit outside in my shorts and t-shirt and turn the blanket on high and sit on it and face the sunlight and feel the sunlight glancing off of my skin.

At this point, I will just do my best to live with joy. To live inside the afternoon’s twilight and see the beauty of the stars as they glance through the atmosphere.