I’m tired. Plain and simple. I feel like my skin is stretched over a loom that keeps on pleating together my body but it’s going nowhere.
I worked today. I worked out today. I came home, made myself a dinner, ate, and am now huddled in the blue chair trying to write when all I can think about is the sensation my right side pressed into the mattress with the blankets pulled up around my head and my right hand tucked under my pillow.
This is my sleep position and I want to assume it right now.
Last night, I worked until 7 administering the specialty center exams. Not bad. Great group of kids. One was even really sarcastic (I hope he gets in). Then, I went to Boy Scouts to serve on my first committee meetings. Again, not bad. But the meeting lasted until 9. I basically put in an 11 hour day at work (I went to the gym for a sucky 20 minute workout and then had to shower so I didn’t distract the test-takers with the scent of ew de putridity). Then, tack on another two hours for Boy Scouts and I had no real down time today.
So, today, I have been floating around the school feeling like I’m underwater and can’t find the surface. Thankfully, I have lovely students where I give them a little information and they (hopefully) will run with it and apply their insight, analysis, and knowledge. I just couldn’t seem to steer my feet in the right direction and I didn’t have a magical dollar bill with me that would grant me the wish of a Coke Zero.
Ah…amber-brown heaven in a bottle…..
So I took my leaden body around the building, did reflective-paperwork that made no sense to me but I knew I had to do it (hooray for hoop-jumping), and attempted to teach. I really gave it my best effort….
How do business professionals get through the day when they are this exhausted? Is it quick trips to the coffee pot (which I can’t do or my [undiagnosed] ADD turns into seriously obnoxious ADHD)? Teaching is more like academic performing. You are in the spotlight constantly and expected to be charming and witty non-stop. The hardest thing is that when the students are exhausted (as they are right now) and/or apathetic (they are really experiencing that right now too), then I use my energy to spike their interests. Which exhausts me even more. Which makes me feel like I have to work even harder to get them to pay attention, even if it’s for a nano-second.
This is why snow-days are paradise for me (other than happy, Germany-snow memories).
My workout today should tell the day’s story perfectly. I gave up after 35 minutes. I usually go for 45. I couldn’t do it. I had no stamina and I felt like I was trying to persuade my legs to continue to move when they were nothing more than loose, wobbly body parts on a suspension system. Even the distraction of War and Peace could do nothing more than entertain my brain when it just didn’t care.
So today has been a numb kind of day. Not bad. Not great. Nothing really worth writing about except that I want to write about something but couldn’t think of anything to write about so this was just easier to not talk about than to go on about writer’s block again…
Oh, and I still have Girl Scouts to go to tonight. God help me. The ladies are nice. But I don’t fit. And one loving soul (I’m being sincere) feels bad for me that I’m a teacher and she once patted me on the head. Thank you for your kindness, my friend, but don’t do that again. I’m not a dog.
Anyone need Girl Scout cookies? I swear, I feel like I’ve sold my soul to that organization…either that or my daughter who yearns and yearns for the prizes. I just like the fact that it will help pay for Girl Scout camp.
Okay…I give up…I’m going to shower and get ready for Girl Scouts and grade some papers and then let the world spin me into my sleep position and turn off my brain.