The Show Must Go On

Every spring, the weariness of the year, the constant demands, the everything wear on me.  I start to feel like Bilbo Baggins, this sense of being worn thin, “like butter scraped over too much bread.”  I question what I am doing.

I think that it’s time to change.  Find a new job.

Leave teaching.

Go somewhere else.  Start over.  Anything that will remove the exhaustion and the mind numbing sense of purposelessness.

I have been teaching for eighteen years.  I am eligible to retire in two years with major cuts to my pension.

I will be eligible to retire in twelve years with more pensions and benefits.

And then, last year, I was asked to join my school’s specialty center.

I agreed.

But the person whose job I was assuming was the director of the spring play.  And I WAS NOT GOING TO DO THE PLAY.

I ended up doing the play.

Thank God I did the play.

Tonight was opening night.  And it was amazing.

Life-altering.

Re-invigorating.

In nine and a half hours, I will be arriving at work.

In twelve hours from now, I will be in planning.

In twenty-four hours from now, I will be coming home from the second performance.

I’m exhausted.

And thrilled.

And happy.

And blessed…richly blessed.

Right before curtain call, I told the actors, “Love you.  Mean it.”

And one of the actors who was also one of my students glanced up from his phone and replied, “Love you.  Mean it.”

Sign me up for years to come.  I don’t know that I’ll ever leave now…..

 

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