I slept hard last night, curled up around my dog and nestled deep under blankets that still held dreams from night’s before. Last night, I dreamt about nothing or something. I don’t know.
I know that I woke up this morning and it was like yesterday hadn’t happened.
I’m not suggesting that I have forgotten the sadness, that I am not aware of a likely rejection letter that will arrive sometime later this week.
It’s more that God just kind of washed away the sadness, pulled it out of my veins and gave me peace, gave me the resilience to wake up early this morning and just enjoy the beautiful tapestry before me.
Around seven in the morning, I finally stretched and rolled my way out from under my blankets. Already, the birds’ song pierced my window and the sunlight beckoned me forward. I snagged Leia and we strolled up and down the street, me still in my new spring pajamas, completely unabashed to the fact that I was still wearing my pajamas in public.
I just don’t care. At seven in the morning, I’m allowed to wear pajamas whose print is elephants blowing bubbles. They are soft and comfortable and, frankly, they make me happy.
Eventually, the Girl joined the land of the living and, in spite of her developing a fever (thanks to the Boy having a virus last week), and together we made a pilgrimage to Starbucks and then a local dog park. With windows partially rolled down and Lady Gaga streaming from my phone, the Girl and I talked about mindless silliness while Leia alternated between staring at the passing cars and laying in the backseat, stretched out across the length of my tiny car.
At the dog park, Leia suddenly turned shy, preferring the human company to the dogs. For about thirty minutes, she literally crawled up in the lap of a girl who laughed and cradled my dog and kept her out of the reach of a six month-old, overly playful akita. Leia, though, didn’t help the situation because after I would pull the akita off of her (she having run around the park with her butt bunched up under her hind legs and her tail tickling her belly), she would immediately sneak up to the akita and nip its legs.
Really? Doofy-dog. You know better.
The Girl and I took a mile long stroll under budding trees, warm sunshine, and a lazy wind. I know we chatted about something, but the topics were so inane, so relaxed, so nothing of importance that I couldn’t possibly summarize what we discussed. I know that I exulted in the heat, felt everything within me that was dulled and cold and numb yesterday awaken.
Spring is here. A month early. But it’s here and I’m alive and ready to chase the world.
I could narrate to you here the time I spent grading. The grocery shopping trip the Boy and I took to fill our cupboards for the week.
I think I would rather talk about the beautiful scent of fresh laundry after having dealt with a broken dryer. I would rather describe the pleasure of burying my nose in still warm towels and breathing in freshness and the heady scent of warmth.
I think I would rather describe the weirdly paced walk the Boy and I took this afternoon with the dogs. Loki enjoys a stroll in the evening, and Leia, in spite of her time in the park (she did eventually play a bit), was hyper. So the Boy and I leashed up the dogs, rounded the corner of our cul-de-sac, and walked the neighborhood.
At first, I held Leia’s leash and the Boy held Loki’s. But Leia continually attacked her leash and then tried to engage Loki in play. Loki, being old, grumpy, and dis-interested, merely tried to skirt her which led him to plowing into the Boy’s and my legs. So the Boy leaned over and offered Leia Loki’s leash.
The next fifteen minutes was laughter. Just laughter. Because Leia did indeed walk Loki the short half mile that is the main stretch of my neighborhood. Although Loki wanted to walk at a leisurely pace, Leia was determined to exercise and pulled Loki as hard as possible.
Cars slowed. The UPS man who is usually a bit afraid of Loki was bent over the steering wheel laughing. Neighbors stopped their yard work to greet us, to marvel at our dog walking our other dog.
A warm early spring evening was spent in laughter. Last night, I was so exhausted from weeping, I know that I didn’t laugh at much of anything. But today, I laughed. Today, I went outside and returned to the normalcy that is my life. And I exulted in the joy.