Enough. Not so much status quo. Not so much as settling for less.

Enough.

I am learning to recognize and accept the nuanced crystaline structure within me. I remember the schard of quartz I carried in my backpack when I was in ninth grade. I had learned in earth science about the strongest rocks/minerals with diamonds being the strongest. I learned that quartz was the first of the strongest elements/rocks that could scratch or etch glass.

I probably found my chipped quartz at the creek or the lake behind my house. I don’t know how I tested it to see if it was quartz, but my test was correct and I pocketed it into my backpack. It was enough that I had found and successfully identified it.

I am learning the art of enough. I am learning to see within myself the quartz that I carried and recognize the crystalline structure, the nuanced beauty when the sun hits it just perfectly and the light is reflected, scattering rays across the space I inhabit.

I am embracing the enough within me. The enough that I am. I am embracing the limitations of my existence and stretching those boundaries and limitations when I know that I can.

I will never be a math genius. I will never memorize the presidents of the United States or the parties they represented. I pray that I will be professionally published (novels). I pray that I will find success as a published author.

But until then, I will write. I will scuplt characters and settle them into pages and watch and record them as they move through their spaces. And it will be enough.

And then, once those pages have their first drafts, I will edit them to the best of my ability. And it will be enough.

I will go through the writing cycles and writing processes and will continue to learn and will continue to strengthen my ability. Because I know that I have a talent that can and will earn me something.

And that something haunts me. Taunts me. Pulls me from my somnolence where I would linger because that is not enough.

I feel a bit like a child. But I can not accept that form of enough when I can do more.

But even now, I must recognize that sometimes enough is enough. And when I recognize and accept that, then, within my quartz soul, I know that I am enough.